Do you shut down, instead of assertively standing up for yourself and saying what you feel?

 

If you can use some assertiveness tips, you’re not alone. Being assertive is not easy for many people ~ and we women seem to be affected by this the most. We’ve been taught to be nurturers and givers. We ‘re told that ‘boys will be boys’.  They’re entitled to be loud or demanding, but for little girls, that is being rude, which is not very ‘nice’.  We’ll be discussing:

 

• Speaking Directly
• Listening
• Being Objective
• Making Compromises
•  ‘I’ and ‘YOU’ statements

 

You’ll also learn considerate ways to express yourself, and assertiveness tips so keep reading:

 

The difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

 

Aggressive people talk loudly and often interrupt. These people are forceful and invade your personal space. They can bully or be offensive and they often get their way, by intimidating others, but these people are usually feared and disliked.

 

Assertive people talk directly, in a calm, diplomatic manner.  They consider the other person’s feelings and respect them. You express yourself honestly, but you are not concerned what the other person might think or feel about you. This is all about you, and if you’re a people-pleaser, that can be hard to do.

 

I’m one of those women, who step up to the plate, whenever I’m asked to help, and this can make me a busy person. Busy people feel productive and we also get recognized for how much work we can do. But there needs to be a balance, and that’s when you have to set your limits, or you’ll be both physically and emotionally drained.

 

When you have too much to do, not only will make you moody and irritable but you’re also carrying an unhealthy amount of stress.

 

Warning Signs of Overload

 

• Your energy is drained
• You don’t sleep well
• You lose or gain weight
• You’re physically and emotionally drained
• You have mood swings
• Burnout

 

Have I convinced you to be assertive yet? There’s more….

 

Only you know your limits and what you can or can’t accept. But, don’t think for a moment that other people will understand your needs. You’re the only person who can tell them ‘it’s enough’. Think of being assertiveness as expressing yourself with confidence.

 

You’re entitled to your opinions. You own them and you owe it to yourself to express them.

Assertiveness Tips That Work Like A Charm:

 

1. Be honest.  Remember to be respectful when you share your wants and needs. Other people may put pressure on you, but, speak directly and keep it simple. Say exactly as you feel.

 

2. Listen: Try to understand the other person’s viewpoint

 

3. Be Objective: Don’t be defensive or jump to conclusions

 

4. Compromise: Come to a resolution if you can. There may be no wrong or right. You can always agree to disagree

 

5. ‘I” statements: Say “I feel”, and “I think”. You’re entitled to your opinion.

 

6. Avoid ‘you,’ statements: Saying “you never” or “you always” can be confrontational and may lead to a counter attack.

 

You are entitled to your feelings. You own them, but when you’re changing your behavior, at first you will make mistakes. So, if you’re a people-pleasers, this won’t be easy. It takes practice but it’s worth the effort.

 

When you set your limits, you’ll be able to redirect your energy and focus on what matters most to you. Remember, you can do many things, but you can’t do it all, without burning yourself out!

RECAP

Speak Directly from the heart

Listen

Be Objective

Compromise

Say ‘I’ and avoid ‘YOU,’ statements

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