So what are your thoughts on retirement? Have you made any retirement plans? Or are you like me; someone who says you’ll never slow down, you’ll never retire? Because guess what? You’re happy doing just what you do. My name is Beverley Glazer, your coach and reinvention expert for women 50 Plus, and in this episode, you’ll discover your retirement journey. So you can make the next chapter, your very, very best chapter.

So meet Sharon Roth. Sharon is a behavioral scientist who was in the corporate world for over 50 years. But today, she’s a retirement and longevity coach, she helps people find their essence. Keep listening and discover what you were really born to do.


Hi, Sharon. Welcome. So glad you can be here today.

Thank you, Beverley, for having me. This is quite an honor to be participating in your program on your show. 

 You have so much to say. So I know that we all keep on reinventing ourselves. And you know, I’m all about reinvention and moving forward. And it all starts when we’re very young. And you lived on a farm. And so you were living as one of five children in our remote area, literally a farmer’s daughter. And there was sexual abuse in the family. What was your life like growing up back then?

Well, I recently asked myself, when was the first time I felt safe.  And it was kind of sad that I never did feel safe at home. I wasn’t the main victim, but there was always this drama going on with my sister. And I do remember hundreds of times thinking, thank heavens, he keeps his hands off me!  But you know, what I missed was getting the approval and admiration and you know, confidence from my dad. I knew my mom loved me and she was safe. But there was just something missing. You know, I looked after cows and stacked hay.  And then doing irrigation and all that. So it was hard work. And that’s what’s good about a farm is applying yourself and being responsible.

Yes. So and it’s interesting because a city girl like myself, would think that’s an ideal life. Right? You know, there you had the animals, but life offers different challenges here. There’s always contrast. And you love learning though. So that brought you to school and that brought you to education. And what happened after that? Where did you go from there?

Well, let me just backtrack one small tidbit.  I was the middle of five children and often felt invisible. All the education I enjoyed also made me different. And I was often told, “Yes, you’re outstanding in your field.”

Oh, yes, I just followed the normal, you know, and got a job. Became responsible You know, work hard, and just kind of go along with society expects of you as a single woman. So, I got into the IT field. I also participated in Toastmasters and Dale Carnegie. It kind of groomed me for leadership but also taught me about myself. 

What I’m seeing is also, here you were, and you didn’t have your voice. You didn’t have confidence. But as you were growing and changing through your career. You were starting to say you know, I want to speak, I want to be able to talk to people.  And because education became something that was strong for you, you continued to take courses. And that’s where you continued to learn and to grow. But where’s your career? Your baby? Like you said, you never got married, you didn’t have a family. Were you married to your career?

I guess you could say that I just didn’t find and interesting man. And the last date I had, it was like, this is a waste of my time. This is boring. Or the guy was too opinionated. But, you know, he was kind of good company. I ran into him years later, after years of working at Boeing, and I recognized his voice. I kind of wanted to ask if he ever got married.

And just yesterday, I was working on some of my material. And it dawned on me, was giving a speech, and I actually spoke on ambition. Wow, I’m still talking about ambition.

And when you were working at Boeing, and all those other corporations, you called yourself the queen of courage.  Why? Why the queen of courage? Was it because you followed the tech route? And when you were thinking about that for 50 years, you were a behavioral scientist. But you were never really thinking of yourself that way.

No, my jobs didn’t, didn’t draw that out of me. And yet, I learned that whenever a person is learning, that’s the part you bring, that’s growing you into what you bring into the workplace. So I, I have always had a kind of hot button around potential. So potential and careers don’t exactly go together. But you know, as teacher, I wondered of my potential. It was kind of a mystery you know, to solve and bring out the best in other people. It kind of went along with that potential. And to me, I saw all these baby boomers that said they are watching 48 hours of TV a week, instead of changing all that needs to be engaged.

I’m hearing you if they realize it. And that’s something else too, because baby boomers, and I’m one of them, are kind of brought up that we follow a specific direction.

And what we do is, you know, we follow the road. And if you’re going to be in a specific job, you’re in a job for so many years. And then what? You retire with a watch. 

That’s right. But as a therapist, not in independent practice, I had to get my own watch. And never stopped and pivoted into coaching, of course, I’ll never stop. But yes, there is that feeling for a lot of people that, I’m looking forward to retirement. This is something I should be really enjoying now. I don’t have to go to work. And I’m going to go off to the country or I’m going to travel and then what and that’s what happens. You know, there’s no, understanding that there’s an emotional retirement as well. That must be set up for most people who are not prepared for that. Do you find that?

The transition into retirement is huge. And I I like to use this: There’s the now we’ve been talking about and there’s four pillars in retirement. It’s not just money, but there’s purpose and health and family and when any of these elements change, they affect the other. So you know, what? How’s your health when you go into retirement? That matters a lot. Where’s your family? Do you want to move closer to them or farther away? And what about off time? All add on to what you are called to do – you know, going to a grandchild’s graduation, or going to team game, or you know, whatever. But life is different when you no longer have a business card. And especially if you’ve been in a highly competitive field, or first responders, or a pilot. Those who aren’t home that much, there’s no support system to fall back into to help you know who you are and what to do with yourself.

Yes. And let me just add, Sharon, there’s also a perception that, who am I and what is my purpose? You know, I had a client who sold his company, and the first thing he said was, “You know, Bev, I’ve never been busier doing nothing in all my life.”

He traveled, he played golf, he was all over the board, and his wife was extremely happy. But he felt something was missing because he wasn’t accomplishing anything productive. But, was doing what was expected of a well to do retiree. You know when you have the funds, and you, you can afford to take it easy. But my client felt had no purpose.

And so he asked me, if I thought it was a good idea if he bought another company. And he was 75 at the time. And I replied, “Well, what do you want to do?”

 And he answered, “ I really want to do it, because I’ve been speculating, and I’ve been looking, checking things out.”

 And I said, “Well, this is about you.

And you know he was 75. But there are stereotypes of how we should be in retirement and we get get pushback from family and friends. They ask, “Why do you have to do that now? You know, maybe you’re too old.”

But he adds, What if I don’t want to play golf.  Does that mean I  can’t put another company together? Because does that really mean if I really feel it, why shouldn’t I do it?”

My client had a point.  So do you feel that someone should be starting something like that in older years? Or should they just slow down and kick back? After all, it’s a personal decision. Isn’t it?

There’s no shoulds Beverly, you know, that’s the biggest transition. I would say, it’s that you’re now no longer living from your head and your logic. We need to transition living from our hearts. And yes, ours heart might draw us to starting another business. I mean we still own our expertise and, especially if it’s in service to the community or, or some unmet need. And that may give us new meaning. But throw the logic out the window, as the opinion of others, and do what’s in it’s in our hearts that’s going to keep us active to extend our relevance and lives.

Yes. And what I’m hearing is we must find our soul, and that’ll make us happy. And it doesn’t really matter what we do, as long as we’re happy. Now, when was your aha moment?

Well, I led a singles convention that had 1800 people come., It was a phenomenal success right out the door. But my director, said we’ll share it always, but have the next thing planned to do after a big event. And so, my transition into retirement is a big event. What am I going to do next before I get out the door? So I just started, and I’ve been getting emails about coaching. And, and it seemed like a natural next step for my career, even though I’m not working. So I started coaching school the week before I retired. But my aha moment came probably four or five week later, I guess. I signed up for mental strength webinar out of the UK. 

Well, mental strength has a nice sound to it. It’s not mental health, you know. We need something but mental strength is more of an aspirational thing. And the leader said, when you’re facing a tough meeting, or situation where you don’t know for sure if a goal is good, but you’re kind of anxious about it, it’s good to know, you’re having to walk into a tough situation. 

First recall a memory, a warm memory and hold it for 15 seconds, and then go into this tough situation. Well, his story was, he always wanted to be a pilot, and he had a picture of his son sitting in the backseat he was flying. That was his war memory. And my warm memory was from third grade and in the Christmas program and a couple of people telling me I was a favorite one in the program. But it was a couple weeks later that I thought, Sharon, why just have one more memory? Why don’t you see how many you could come up with? And I must have had a dozen of them. And the shock when I looked at the list half of were in front of people. Wow. 

And I’ve been in the wrong career. And so maybe I was supposed to be an influencer? Maybe I was supposed to be in front of people? And I started taking baby steps and acting as if maybe that was true, because that’s where my good feelings of myself came as a result of my being in front of people. Right?

So maybe you have a couple of tips to give to others who are asking what do I do? I can just get up in the morning. And I’m looking for the same old breakfast or I’m going to take the same old walk around the block?

Yes. in fact, this week, I’ve been posting all kinds of things about the road less boring. And yesterday’s post was play. Because becoming as a three-year-old exploring is powerful, even in retirement.

I’m hearing you say go back to what you loved when you were a kid. And that’s what I tell people too.  Because we lose our essence along the way.

The tip I give is: we want to find a place to fit into that matters, and to make a difference. Grand Volunteering is a great way to start exploring that. One of the podcasts I did about three years ago, I had the Washington State AARP president, give a talk on volunteering, and he had like nine points of how to learn and meet new people, so we become responsible. And in any given month he was volunteering in four different places. And that’s a good way to test where you fit in.  As far as fitting it It might matter where you volunteer, or it might be their purpose that tugs at your heart. One of the places he volunteered, he met his dentist. Oh, and he found out his dentist was quite a biker and spoke three languages. Ha-ha.

Another thing you’re saying is get out there. You never know. Don’t stay in the box. Get out and try things and that one thing that gets you out is volunteering. And you may say, I’m not interested in the hospital, or I’ve heard this all before. But they’re all old people out there that can use your help. I love volunteering because it’s a sure way to extend yourself, get to meet people. And you’ll be surprised that there are so many people out there willing to help, and so many resources. There’s just so many who do so many wonderful things and you can be part of giving back and helping where you can do some good.

Sharon, you created a whole other world out there. From the technical, you know, you became a writer, you help, and you also do coaching. And I want to thank you for helping others to find all their gifts in the world because we must keep on going and growing. And I think that’s wonderful.

Thank you. And I want everyone to know that you can reach Sharon Rolf on her website, that’s: https://www.sharonrolph.com. And on Instagram, she’s: the @QueenofCourage.  And you can email her there too. And she has some free gifts to offer.

So are you ready to make changes and supercharge your life? I invite you to take the Reinvention Quiz and see what’s holding you back so that you can be ready to change and join my empowering group of women on Facebook: #Womenover50rock. And thank you for listening. Click subscribe so that you get all these wonderful podcasts in your inbox and remember, you only have one life. So live it with purpose and passion and celebrate life!

BE FIRST ~ GET YOUR PODCASTS IN YOUR INBOX