Feel Confident In Yourself and Embrace Your Imperfections

 

There is a mistaken belief that therapists are capable and feel confident in all aspects of their lives. In other words, we must be pretty darn perfect! We give advice and seem to know it all, but don’t let that image fool you. All people have problems and I can tell you from experience that we can be a pretty imperfect lot.  

 

I never realized the impact of my image, until one day, I got sidetracked while I was working from my home. Suddenly, I looked at the time on my computer and was shocked to discover that my office sessions began in 20 minutes and a client would soon be waiting at the door.

 

My first reaction was to grab my bag, jump into the car and get down there, but I’d never make it.  So, instead, I picked up the phone and called her. I felt terrible; apologizing profusely, explaining how I was side-tracked, and how I couldn’t believe how I make such a mistake. But instead of being upset by the inconvenience, she laughed and told me that she’s done this to her clients too, and was happy to know I wasn’t perfect. 

 

All of us have an image that other people see. When I’m working, I’m totally focused on my clients. I remember names, dates, times and  events, and can recount incidents and memories many months and years later. It’s not surprising they would think that I am perfect. But I’m human; I make plenty of mistakes.

 

PERFECTIONISM

 

 “People with perfectionism tend to believe that they should never make mistakes, and that making a mistake means they’re a failure or a horrible person for disappointing others.” Anxiety Canada 

 

High standards are a good thing to aspire too, and I’m always aiming to achieve. But if perfection is your goal, you’ll never get there.  There will always be circumstances out of your control, but your mistakes don’t define you as a person.

To feel confident, you must embrace all your imperfections and accept and accept them.

HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT AND EMPRACE YOUR  IMPERFECTIONS:

 

1) Accept ‘good enough’:

I know this can be hard to do, because I’m a recovering perfectionist too.  I do a lot of writing, and whether I’m working on a podcast or a blog etc, I make many revisions, but there are also deadlines.

When you aim for perfect, chances are likely that you’ll never complete, or you’ll procrastinate and lose faith and confidence in yourself. Do the best you can, but there comes a point where you must tell yourself that ‘this is good enough.’

 

2) Don’t compare yourself with others.

Remember that although someone acts confidently, doesn’t mean they feel confident. Focus instead on your values, your performance and what’s important to you.

 

3) Believe you’re OK:

You’re human. You have faults and so does everybody else. Be flexible, roll with the punches and have the confidence and belief that you can handle what you need to do.

 

4) Be aware of your limiting beliefs:

All of us have beliefs that limits us from doing our best. Keep focusing on your strengths and if you’re uncertain about what’s been stopping you from feeling confident, this easy quiz will help.

 

5) Powerful thinking:

Positive thoughts and slogans won’t make you feel confident, but confident people are positive. Remind yourself of all you’ve achieved and what you’ve overcome in the past. This will give you resilience and determination move forward.

 

6) Set realistic expectations:

Spend less time on websites, videos, movies etc and anything that sets perfection as a standard.  The ‘Supermom’ or ‘Supermodel’ is a fictional character. You don’t know the entire story. Find inspiration from stories with a more realistic view on life.

 

7) Be genuine:

When my client laughed at my apology for forgetting her appointment, she identified with me, because she’s makes mistakes too.  It didn’t make me less competent in her eyes, but she was happy to see that I wasn’t ‘perfect’; that I have flaws and I make mistakes  too.  

 

High standards are a good thing, but attaining perfection is not possible.  Mistakes happen and there will always be circumstances out of your control. But don’t let perfectionism define you.

Be confident in yourself and embrace your flaws. Those imperfections make you real! 

 

The Take-Away:

 

Accept ‘good enough’

 

Don’t compare yourself with others

 

Believe you’re OK

 

Be aware of your limiting beliefs

 

Have Powerful Thinking

 

Set Realistic Expectations

 

Be Genuine

 

Find this helpful? Get ‘Weekend Wisdom’ in your inbox and receive the ‘Worry-Less Workbook’ and helpful worksheets for free.