Love isn’t Enough with Brighid O’Shaughnessy

What if love isn’t enough? One adoptive mom’s truth about trauma, healing, and parenting a child no one prepared her for.

Adoption, trauma-informed parenting, and midlife motherhood collide in this powerful episode with Brighid O’Shaughnessy—licensed social worker, adoptive mom, and longtime mental health advocate. If you’re parenting through trauma, over 40 and navigating adoption, or working with vulnerable families, this conversation is a must.

Brighid shares her story of adopting a toddler from Haiti as a single woman and the unforeseen journey that followed: parenting a child with fetal alcohol exposure, complex trauma, and deep attachment wounds. Her hard-earned insights dismantle the fairy tale of adoption as a simple fix and reveal what true healing takes—for children, families, and systems.

“I have a boat that doesn’t have a bottom,” she says, quoting adoptees. “You can pour all the love in… but it still sinks.”
That truth drives her mission: to educate, to advocate, and to break the silence around what adoptive families really face.

🎧 In this episode:

• The reality of older adoptive parenting
• What schools and therapists get wrong about adopted children
• The myth of “love heals everything”
• How Brighid’s new book and theater project are reshaping professional training on adoption

This isn’t just about parenting. It’s about telling hard truths, creating better systems and supporting with compassion and clarity.

Key Takeaways from Love isn’t Enough with Brighid O’Shaughnessy

The Myth of the Fairy Tale Adoption:

The fairy tale version of adoption—a loving home instantly healing all wounds—crumbles under the weight of reality in this profound conversation with Bridget O’Shaughnessy. As a licensed social worker, adoptive mom, and documentary theater artist, Bridget pulls back the curtain on what happens when love meets trauma and systems fail our most vulnerable children and families.

A Journey from Hope to Hard Realities:

Bridget’s journey began with unexpected obstacles as a single woman pursuing adoption, eventually leading her to Haiti where she adopted her son as a toddler. What followed was a crash course in parenting a child with complex trauma histories that no one had prepared her for—a story echoed in countless adoptive families’ experiences. With raw honesty, she reveals how schools, healthcare providers, and mental health systems consistently misunderstand and misdiagnose adopted children, leaving parents to navigate overwhelming challenges largely alone.

Why Love Alone Can’t Heal Trauma:

Most poignantly, Bridget dismantles the pervasive myth that love alone can heal trauma. For many adoptees, she explains, love actually feels threatening because their earliest experiences taught them that attachment leads to abandonment. “I have a boat that doesn’t have a bottom,” she quotes adoptees as saying, “and so you can pour all you want into it, but the boat keeps sinking.” This haunting metaphor illuminates why traditional parenting and therapeutic approaches often fall short for adoptive families.

Changing the Narrative for Adoptive Families:

Currently working on a groundbreaking book that will bring adoptive mothers’ stories into university libraries worldwide, Bridget aims to transform how professionals across disciplines understand and support adoptive families. Her closing message resonates beyond adoption: break the silence, share your stories, and approach others with genuine curiosity rather than judgment. Whether you’re an adoptive family, considering adoption, or simply want to better support those in your community, this episode offers life-changing perspective on what healing truly requires.

Resources:

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For similar episodes on reinventing your life over 50 check out stories on healing and trauma check out episodes 127 and 131 of Aging with Purpose and Passion and you may enjoy “Older Women & Friends” with award-winning host Jane Leder. She takes a deep dive into the joys and challenges of being an older woman. “Older Women & Friends” sets the record straight, dispels the myths, and explores the contributions and the wisdom women are anxious to share. janeleder.net.

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Connect with Brighid O’Shaughnessy

Need advice? Schedule a time to talk: https://calendly.com/reinventimpossible/15min