Empowering Love Strategies for Women Over 50 with Kate Houston

In this episode of “Aging with Purpose and Passion,” host Beverley Glazer welcomes Kate Houston, a distinguished dating and love coach who shares her empowering love strategies & transforms her profound personal experiences into a beacon of hope for women facing relationship difficulties. This conversation uncovers the essential steps needed for personal resilience and relationship readiness.

Kate Houston opens up about her history of being bullied as a child and the impact it had on her life choices. The conversation moves through her marriage journey, where she uncovers her husband’s homosexuality, leading to her subsequent personal growth. Kate’s story is a testimonial to the power of embracing one’s vulnerabilities and turning adversity into strength. Listeners gain invaluable insights into navigating life’s unexpected turns, the importance of self-reflection, and the courage it takes to reinvent oneself following personal heartbreak.

Key Takeaways from Empowering Love Strategies for Women:

The significance of addressing and overcoming past traumas to avoid seeking external validation and repeating negative relationship patterns.
The importance of setting boundaries and having the courage to stand up for oneself to achieve personal happiness and fulfillment.
Understanding the process of self-discovery and healing is essential before entering new relationships.
It’s possible to identify commitment-minded, quality men within the first few dates by being grounded and trusting one’s instincts.
The journey to finding fulfilling relationships begins with fostering a non-judgmental, empathetic, and compassionate relationship with oneself.
Empowering love strategies for women over 50

From Bullying to Self-Validation:

Beverley and Kate dive deep into the roots of seeking external validation, a journey that starts with childhood bullying and culminates in adult relationships. Kate discloses her own experiences with bullying, which led to an instinctual quest for approval from those around her. This pattern, she reveals, “allowed [her] to be me or figure out me,” underscoring the impact of early childhood trauma on adult identities and relationships.

The way we interpret and carry our past traumas into the present has a stronghold on how we interact with the world. As Kate describes, the adult failure to protect her as a child instilled in her a story of unworthiness and the need for approval that echoed through her relationships. “‘We make things mean,’ she explains, recognizing the control we have over whether a traumatic event remains in the past or infiltrates our present.

External Validations and It’s Pitfalls:

The pattern of seeking validation is a common thread binding those who have faced rejection or harm from a young age. Such a search for confirmation of one’s worth can lead us to overlook red flags in pursuit of the ‘perfect’ story we yearn for. Kate’s candid reflection that she “moved it aside thinking [she] dealt with it,” resonates with the complexity of truly overcoming these narratives.

The Art of Reclaiming Self: Creating Boundaries After Trauma

One of the most jarring personal betrayals arrives in the form of Kate’s husband coming out as gay after nearly a decade of marriage. This pivotal moment forced Kate to confront her tendency to prioritize the needs of others—a pattern steeped in her past—and to re-evaluate what she truly desired for herself.

The Journey to Self-Reclamation:

The process of healing and moving forward involves acknowledging not only the pain but also the responsibility one has over their own happiness. As Kate mentions, there is a “discovery path” to unveiling who we truly are without the influence of those around us. This journey was marked by a pivotal stand she took against her second husband’s addictions, where she finally honored her own needs first.

Embracing Change as an Opportunity for Growth:

Kate’s story is not just one of hardship but also of seizing opportunity from the very jaws of adversity. The transformation that followed her divorces demonstrates that a turning point can be harnessed as a powerful instrument for growth and change.

When discussing the struggles with her second husband, Kate reflects on the importance of introspection: “I need to work on me.” Through this, she imparts the message that individuals have incredible strength to transform life’s challenges into lessons and new beginnings.

Moving Forward with Clarity and Purpose:

The insightful exchange between Beverley and Kate Houston embodies not only the personal victories over life’s sudden twists but also a guide for navigating love and relationships post-trauma. The essence of their conversation serves as a reminder that within the heartaches, within the losses, resides the potent seed of personal growth. Recapturing one’s narrative, setting healthy boundaries, and recognizing life’s unexpected turns as opportunities can pave the way to a fulfilling, purpose-driven life.